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(c) 2004-2008
Tom Montag

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June 2008

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THE VAGABOND MAKES HIS PLEA

  • The endowments and the foundations won't, but you can help support my long-term exploration of the middle west, Vagabond In the Middle. Any donation to help defray expenses will be appreciated. Send to Tom Montag at: PO Box 8, Fairwater, WI 53931.

WORLD CHAMPION SEARCH STRINGS

  • HOW THIS STARTED:
    "shelf life of prune juice" - The Middlewesterner

  • "elko + bar + bathroom + girlfriend" - Creek Running North
  • "what does a mole on the palm of the hand mean?" - Mole
  • "biro, slowly watching memory" - frizzyLogic
  • "pictures of someone who looks forgotten" - Blaugustine
  • "emily dickinson's address" - alembic
  • "heterosexual woman becomes lesbian in midlife" - Velveteen Rabbi
  • "if lost return to" - Slow Reads
  • "village voice newspaper headline when andy warhol died in 1987 village voice headline is god dead is god dead" - Marja-Leena
  • "I have no head" - Under a bell
  • "what can we do about privilege?" - Feathers of Hope
  • "stigmata montreal women" - Cassandra Pages
  • "Aztec sacrificial victims" - 3rd House Party
  • "ugliest woman ever" – Fishbucket
  • "prime number farting" - The Middlewesterner
  • "sasquatch beauty barn" - Via Negativa
  • "I have what looks like small pieces of bird seed in human feces my feces." - Nuthatch
  • "signs your girlfriend is not happy" - The Middlewesterner
  • "real tribe potion to become Immune to fire" - susannagig-jig
  • "does god blink" - The Middlewesterner
  • "Sleeping ovaries" - Find Me a Bluebird
  • "People find me offensive poem" - Find Me a Bluebird
  • "girlfriend taming" - The Middlewesterner
  • "naked librarians from north dakota" - The Middlewesterner
  • "signs a girlfriend is about to walk out" - The Middlewesterner
  • "naked girls at prayer" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does 'behind the barn' mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "basho farting" - The Middlewesterner
  • "white conic body lotion" - Mole
  • "what specifically is the emerald mole?" - Mole
  • "how to impress a tomboy girl" - The Middlewesterner
  • "ripon cookies for bear bait" - The Middlewesterner
  • "people who think they are cats" - The Middlewesterner
  • "crows and fog omen" - The Middlewesterner
  • "when you are walking in the spirit what does heat mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how to be more socialable" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does making hay mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does it mean to call someone an iowa farm boy" - The Middlewesterner
  • "What does it mean when there are 2-3 crows in your yard and you don't have a corn field?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "tomboy addiction" - The Middlewesterner
  • gunmetal tulle - findmeabluebird
  • mucho bonito senorita translation - findmeabluebird
  • "swollen rash" diagnosis - findmeabluebird
  • how to keep a kid occupied when sick and in bed - findmeabluebird
  • moose bums - findmeabluebird
  • uninterlaced - findmeabluebird
  • "red squirrels castrating grey squirrels" - The Middlewesterner
  • "short poems to impress a girl" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what is an important food crop in middlewest?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "the reason the elements of the writing process are important to poetry" - The Middlewesterner
  • "wallpaper, poet" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how to be a vagabond" - The Middlewesterner
  • "my jock strap hearts how can i fix it" - The Middlewesterner
  • "How do Hutterite deliver babies " - The Middlewesterner
  • "shelling corn slang" - The Middlewesterner
  • "lady of guadalupe as vagina symbol" - The Middlewesterner
  • "will the leaves still be on the trees October 21, 2006 in Davenport, Iowa?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "driving time between seydisfjordur and skaftafell" - The Middlewesterner
  • "impress a girl from north dakota" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how do tigers get born?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "jesus nude girls" - The Middlewesterner
  • "falling in love with a midwesterner" - The Middlewesterner
  • "shanties with cadillacs" - The Middlewesterner
  • "middle road sermon" - The Middlewesterner
  • "ephemeral as the summer fly" - Chatoyance
  • "how to paint ghost flames" - Chatoyance
  • "wine of cardui" - chatoyance
  • "kevlar bridal dresses" - Hoarded Ordinaries
  • "how to scold boyfriend" - Hoarded Ordinaries
  • "how to find your true self" - Hoarded Ordinaries
  • "it goes around the sun 4 times a year" - Hoarded Ordinaries
  • "how long does it take for a sprinter to regain his speed after a grade 1 hamstring tear" - The Middlewesterner
  • "understanding why crows like you" - The Middlewesterner
  • "customs and culture of the middlewest region of the United States" - The Middlewesterner
  • "naked girl in a pile of money" - The Middlewesterner
  • "dakota tom sandwich" - The Middlewesterner
  • "things to do in Middlewest US" - The Middlewesterner
  • "nebraska christian music thunderstorm" - The Middlewesterner
  • "naked girls performing prayer photos" - The Middlewesterner
  • "metaphysical stores in Davenport Iowa" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does 'worthless as tits on a boar' mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what is silo liquid and why does it make the cats sick?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "names of the dinosaurs that live in water or pictures naked women" - The Middlewesterner
  • "alien + pigs + north + dakota" - The Middlewesterner
  • "poems for football players girlfriend" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does 'making hay' mean?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how do cows eat cabbage in south dakota" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does a skunk mean in a dream" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does the mole on the buddha mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "hutterite bra" - The Middlewesterner
  • "when to planet vandalia onions" - The Middlewesterner
  • "The Republicans have been painting an unattractive portrait of Democrats roasting young children on a spit in the Capitol rotunda and what not" - The Middlewesterner
  • "kewpie doll karl rove" - The Middlewesterner
  • "Real photos of Mary and Joseph with Baby Jesus and a story how Mary got her baby, Jesus removed out of her stomach" - The Middlewesterner
  • "fog barn stillness beauty poetry" - The Middlewesterner
  • "redneck outhouse poems" - The Middlewesterner
  • "haiku farting basho horse" - The Middlewesterner
  • "signs that i'm a heroin addict" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how do you know if your ankle is sprung" - The Middlewesterner
  • "translations from spanish to english giving opinions about the preservation of wild cats in South America" - The Middlewesterner
  • "stealth bomber information" - The Middlewesterner
  • "emily dickinson with cowboy hat" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what causes bossy girlfriends" - The Middlewesterner
  • "owl hitting a windshield and meaning" - The Middlewesterner
  • "long arm handling gloves cat" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does a rendering plant smell like?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "potion to become a superhero" - The Middlewesterner
  • "fried egg symbols of lesbianism" - The Middlewesterner
  • "when you are sixty years old should you move back to cold weather in michigan?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "learn poetry to impress a woman" - The Middlewesterner
  • "if you were asked to teach a character education program with which you found fault, what would you do?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "tractors porn" - The Middlewesterner
  • "does black or dark nail polish on a woman mean anything" - The Middlewesterner
  • "keeping warm in north dakota" - The Middlewesterner
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« LINES FOR JUNE 29 | Main | FROM MORNING DRIVE JOURNAL
JUNE 30, 2000 »

June 29, 2006

THERE HE GOES
WHERE HE STOPS
NOBODY KNOWS

I'm not saying that I have a busy month

ahead of me, but I'll tell ya: I don't know if I'll make it til August 5th without a nap or two.

1. Tomorrow I leave for a week in Eaton, Ohio. Home on Friday, July 7th. Eaton, my focus community for the strip of Ohio which falls within the middlewest, is celebrating the 200th anniversary of its founding. I gotta be there for that.

2. On Saturday, July 8th, I head to West Bend, Iowa, for the big Montag reunion on Sunday, July 9. How big is it? I have 139 first cousins, if that gives you a clue. My dad is one of 17 children, and that's just the Henry Montag clan; the families of Henry's brothers and sisters will be there too and that was a big family even by the old Iowa standards.

3. After the family reunion, I'll head four hours west, to Sioux City, Iowa, to visit my friends Phil and Terry Hey. Phil is the author of How It Seems To Me, which my press, MWPH Books, published last year. He says he has three big bulbs of garlic for me. I said, "I'll be right there." Phil's garlic is worth the drive. It will also be nice to see Phil and Terry again, I might add, and to meet the one of their three horses I haven't already been introduced to. In a recent e-mail, Phil asked me what I wanted for breakfast on Monday morning before my return to Wisconsin. I said, "last paragraph, p. 13, Curlew: Home." He said, "I checked the citation. I can do it." I'll be home late on Monday night.

4. On Thursday, July 13, Mary and I will fly to Colorado to visit daughter Jessica and son-in-law Tait Brink in Ft. Collins. Jessica got a new position within the Forest Service, which required the transfer to Ft. Collins. They have bought a house, and we're going out to see the place, and them, and Ft. Collins. Home on July 17th.

5. I have an appointment at the dentist in Ripon to get my teeth cleaned at 9:30 a.m. on Tuesday, July 18th. Why in the world would I tell you that?

6. Because after I get my teeth cleaned on Tuesday, July 18th, I'll head to Dekalb, Illinois, to house-sit at daughter Jenifer's house while she is at a conference. Home on Friday night, July 21.

7. I will work all day Saturday and Sunday, July 22-23, at Fairwater's big community event, the Jim Town/Bill Town Celebration, sponsored by the Fairwater Historical Society, the Lions Club, the American Legion, the Fire Department, Zion Lutheran Church, etc. It's all day both days.

8. On Friday, July 28th, Mary and I will leave for a week of canoeing in the Boundary Waters on the Canadian side of the border. I'll be back home on August 5th... assuming I make it that far....

This evening, my friend Charlie Mescher and his wife Jane will be stopping here for supper and an overnight visit on their way home to Ohio from a vacation in Bayfield, Wisconsin. Mary has made jambalaya; we'll have cornbread to go with it, and a big green salad; strawberries and ice cream for dessert. We'll fix 'em breakfast in the morning, then when Charlie and Jane head for home, I'll head for Eaton, Ohio.

In the meantime, through the wonders of technology, you'll find "Lines" put up here every day, you'll find the usual "Morning Drive Journal" entries, sometimes you'll find Ivan Burgess's Echo Echo (if I've been home to type up the newest issues). There'll be Saturday Poems on at least some of the Saturdays. Who knows what else - perhaps an occasional post about my adventures on the rare occasions I touch down here?

Oh, and in my free time, I'll be plucking my new flat-top acoustic bass, just delivered yesterday. What's a guy who is most definitely not a musician doing with this new acoustic bass, two electric basses, a dobro, two electric lap steels, and part interest in a pedal steel? Oh, and part interest in the stand-up double-bass, Big Bertha? Well, that's the price you have to pay if you like to hang out with musicians.

And that whistling sound you hear in the distance? That's the rush of wind as I try to get through July. If you listen real careful you might hear me saying, "Tom, come on, just put your head down and GO."

"Tom, I mean it, come on, just put your head down now and GO!"

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WHERE HE STOPS
NOBODY KNOWS
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Comments

Wow are you busy! Reading that makes me feel like I'm not doing a thing this summer. It must be nice having everything planned out like that. 139 first cousins!?!

And you never told me you had THAT MANY instruments. I only knew about the basses! I'm going to have to look at all your stuff at some point.

I'll be checkin' up on you while you're out. Safe travels.

Wow. Slow down and listen to the wind, Tom...

Tom,
What a month! While you are in Sioux City I would like to meet you in person. even if it is only for a cup of coffee.

Fred

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