IVAN BURGESS'S ECHO ECHO

"Lynn Devlin spilled the beans,"

Ivan said. "Not in her own kitchen, but in Beverly Lambert's kitchen. Not literally but figuratively. For months Arden Devlin has been castigating Joe Lambert and Kendall Nichols for their well-intentioned vote for George W. Bush. Arden explained, in great detail, what a dumb-assed mistake that was. Then one evening last week Joe Lambert invited Kendall and Hazel Nichols and Arden and Lynn Devlin to a soup supper at the North Main home of the Lamberts. Between courses of the potato soup and the chili, politics reared its ugly head. When Lynn sorted through the conversation, she understood that Arden had been questioning the intelligence of Joe and Kendall for voting for George W. That's when she said, right outloud, 'Arden voted for Republicans in the last election.' Joe and Kendall jumped on that like a linebacker on a loose ball. But, like Arden said to them, 'At least I admitted I made a mistake.'"

"If you missed the sign in front of the Methodist Church," Ivan said, "the one that tells the time of the service, sermon topic, preacher's name, and maybe a thought for the week, it is in David Grey's garage/shop. It wound up there by a circuitous route. Jack Yenne, maintenance man/janitor, noticed that the sign was rotting. He told his wife, Kathy. Kathy told Mimi Grey about it. Mimi volunteered her husband to repair it. So if it isn't back and you want to know what it says, drive out to David Grey's place and look in the garage/shop."

"You know," Ivan said, "if you just listen, you will hear some profound statements. Last Tuesday morning Mel Lyon said something about ten dollar wheat making it imperative that you do a good job of farming. Then someone said with the price of fertilizer, you had to have ten dollar wheat. Then Kendall Nichols made this profound statement: 'I would say that the price of wheat can come down a lot quicker and easier than the price of fertilizer.' Now you just don't get profounder than that. I wonder, with the price of fertilizer, weed spray, and fuel, if the farmers' profit margin might be less than it has been for several years. I don't know, but it seems like the expense has a huge appetite that would chew up and swallow a large part of the profit."

"Martha Coon was here a couple of days last week," Ivan said. "She joined the As the Bladder Fills Club, where she was overwhelmed by the knowledge that was so casually slung about by the ATBFC. She was wanting to take some of it home with her, but she failed to take notes or tape-record any of it. It is doubtful that she will get home with any of the knowledge because she has reached the age where she is even getting senior citizen's discounts here in Smith Center."

"Casey Edell had part of his iron fence knocked down in an automobile accident last fall," Ivan said. "He kept saying that he was goig to get it fixed, but he couldn't get it put up until the frost went out of the ground because it required some post holes. With the advent of the spring-like weather, I would think the countdown of days to fence erection would be dwindling down to a precious few."

"Some car company makes a car called Probe," Ivan said. "Wouldn't that make an excellent car for a proctologist."