Last night driving home in the dark
from Ripon after a shopping trip, Mary and I saw a moth fluttering across the road in the beam of our headlights. Oh, moth - such a hard frost we'd had the previous night: where did you find refuge? Will you survive another night? I think not. I think the hand that dooms you has close now around you.
There is no frost on the windshield of the pick-up this morning, though I can see my breath and can feel the coldness of the seat of the pick-up against my legs. The exhaust fumes become a small cloud heading north, disappearing. There are ripples on the pond down the hill, as if someone has thrown a stone into it, which would be a possibility; as if a turtle has plopped off its log into the water, which I'd think would not be possible now so near the end of October. After a few moments, the surface of the water calms, a placid reflection of sky and tree returns.
I can see all the way through the trees along the railroad track this morning - that's how far we've come, we can't go back.
The shadow of my pick-up takes on the shape of a toy truck in the long morning light.
If the hawk is not mentioned, the hawk is not there. The hawk is not there today.
The way the land rolls away in the light this morning makes me shiver with delight. It's almost like I am in love. The sensations are that intense. The roll of land like waves of pleasure.
I let myself get carried away.
As I come into the south edge of Ripon, a great flock of seagulls crosses above me. They must love this countryside as much as I do. The season continues to turn, and they are still here.
I'm on East Fond du Lac Street now, looking in my rearview mirror. A high school girl is driving herself to school. She's wearing a bright, white stocking cap. It's pulled down to her eye brows, down over her ears. Okay, okay, I get it: it is autumn.
"It's almost like I am in love." Almost? Tell that to a guy who's turned his back on romance more than once just so I could continue to live with the roll of the land & the smell of the autumn woods...
Posted by: dave | October 24, 2004 at 10:14 AM
Dave--I hear ya....
Posted by: Tom Montag | October 24, 2004 at 10:49 PM