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(c) 2004-2008
Tom Montag

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THE VAGABOND MAKES HIS PLEA

  • The endowments and the foundations won't, but you can help support my long-term exploration of the middle west, Vagabond In the Middle. Any donation to help defray expenses will be appreciated. Send to Tom Montag at: PO Box 8, Fairwater, WI 53931.

WORLD CHAMPION SEARCH STRINGS

  • HOW THIS STARTED:
    "shelf life of prune juice" - The Middlewesterner

  • "elko + bar + bathroom + girlfriend" - Creek Running North
  • "what does a mole on the palm of the hand mean?" - Mole
  • "biro, slowly watching memory" - frizzyLogic
  • "pictures of someone who looks forgotten" - Blaugustine
  • "emily dickinson's address" - alembic
  • "heterosexual woman becomes lesbian in midlife" - Velveteen Rabbi
  • "if lost return to" - Slow Reads
  • "village voice newspaper headline when andy warhol died in 1987 village voice headline is god dead is god dead" - Marja-Leena
  • "I have no head" - Under a bell
  • "what can we do about privilege?" - Feathers of Hope
  • "stigmata montreal women" - Cassandra Pages
  • "Aztec sacrificial victims" - 3rd House Party
  • "ugliest woman ever" – Fishbucket
  • "prime number farting" - The Middlewesterner
  • "sasquatch beauty barn" - Via Negativa
  • "I have what looks like small pieces of bird seed in human feces my feces." - Nuthatch
  • "signs your girlfriend is not happy" - The Middlewesterner
  • "real tribe potion to become Immune to fire" - susannagig-jig
  • "does god blink" - The Middlewesterner
  • "Sleeping ovaries" - Find Me a Bluebird
  • "People find me offensive poem" - Find Me a Bluebird
  • "girlfriend taming" - The Middlewesterner
  • "naked librarians from north dakota" - The Middlewesterner
  • "signs a girlfriend is about to walk out" - The Middlewesterner
  • "naked girls at prayer" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does 'behind the barn' mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "basho farting" - The Middlewesterner
  • "white conic body lotion" - Mole
  • "what specifically is the emerald mole?" - Mole
  • "how to impress a tomboy girl" - The Middlewesterner
  • "ripon cookies for bear bait" - The Middlewesterner
  • "people who think they are cats" - The Middlewesterner
  • "crows and fog omen" - The Middlewesterner
  • "when you are walking in the spirit what does heat mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how to be more socialable" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does making hay mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does it mean to call someone an iowa farm boy" - The Middlewesterner
  • "What does it mean when there are 2-3 crows in your yard and you don't have a corn field?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "tomboy addiction" - The Middlewesterner
  • gunmetal tulle - findmeabluebird
  • mucho bonito senorita translation - findmeabluebird
  • "swollen rash" diagnosis - findmeabluebird
  • how to keep a kid occupied when sick and in bed - findmeabluebird
  • moose bums - findmeabluebird
  • uninterlaced - findmeabluebird
  • "red squirrels castrating grey squirrels" - The Middlewesterner
  • "short poems to impress a girl" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what is an important food crop in middlewest?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "the reason the elements of the writing process are important to poetry" - The Middlewesterner
  • "wallpaper, poet" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how to be a vagabond" - The Middlewesterner
  • "my jock strap hearts how can i fix it" - The Middlewesterner
  • "How do Hutterite deliver babies " - The Middlewesterner
  • "shelling corn slang" - The Middlewesterner
  • "lady of guadalupe as vagina symbol" - The Middlewesterner
  • "will the leaves still be on the trees October 21, 2006 in Davenport, Iowa?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "driving time between seydisfjordur and skaftafell" - The Middlewesterner
  • "impress a girl from north dakota" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how do tigers get born?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "jesus nude girls" - The Middlewesterner
  • "falling in love with a midwesterner" - The Middlewesterner
  • "shanties with cadillacs" - The Middlewesterner
  • "middle road sermon" - The Middlewesterner
  • "ephemeral as the summer fly" - Chatoyance
  • "how to paint ghost flames" - Chatoyance
  • "wine of cardui" - chatoyance
  • "kevlar bridal dresses" - Hoarded Ordinaries
  • "how to scold boyfriend" - Hoarded Ordinaries
  • "how to find your true self" - Hoarded Ordinaries
  • "it goes around the sun 4 times a year" - Hoarded Ordinaries
  • "how long does it take for a sprinter to regain his speed after a grade 1 hamstring tear" - The Middlewesterner
  • "understanding why crows like you" - The Middlewesterner
  • "customs and culture of the middlewest region of the United States" - The Middlewesterner
  • "naked girl in a pile of money" - The Middlewesterner
  • "dakota tom sandwich" - The Middlewesterner
  • "things to do in Middlewest US" - The Middlewesterner
  • "nebraska christian music thunderstorm" - The Middlewesterner
  • "naked girls performing prayer photos" - The Middlewesterner
  • "metaphysical stores in Davenport Iowa" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does 'worthless as tits on a boar' mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what is silo liquid and why does it make the cats sick?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "names of the dinosaurs that live in water or pictures naked women" - The Middlewesterner
  • "alien + pigs + north + dakota" - The Middlewesterner
  • "poems for football players girlfriend" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does 'making hay' mean?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how do cows eat cabbage in south dakota" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does a skunk mean in a dream" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does the mole on the buddha mean" - The Middlewesterner
  • "hutterite bra" - The Middlewesterner
  • "when to planet vandalia onions" - The Middlewesterner
  • "The Republicans have been painting an unattractive portrait of Democrats roasting young children on a spit in the Capitol rotunda and what not" - The Middlewesterner
  • "kewpie doll karl rove" - The Middlewesterner
  • "Real photos of Mary and Joseph with Baby Jesus and a story how Mary got her baby, Jesus removed out of her stomach" - The Middlewesterner
  • "fog barn stillness beauty poetry" - The Middlewesterner
  • "redneck outhouse poems" - The Middlewesterner
  • "haiku farting basho horse" - The Middlewesterner
  • "signs that i'm a heroin addict" - The Middlewesterner
  • "how do you know if your ankle is sprung" - The Middlewesterner
  • "translations from spanish to english giving opinions about the preservation of wild cats in South America" - The Middlewesterner
  • "stealth bomber information" - The Middlewesterner
  • "emily dickinson with cowboy hat" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what causes bossy girlfriends" - The Middlewesterner
  • "owl hitting a windshield and meaning" - The Middlewesterner
  • "long arm handling gloves cat" - The Middlewesterner
  • "what does a rendering plant smell like?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "potion to become a superhero" - The Middlewesterner
  • "fried egg symbols of lesbianism" - The Middlewesterner
  • "when you are sixty years old should you move back to cold weather in michigan?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "learn poetry to impress a woman" - The Middlewesterner
  • "if you were asked to teach a character education program with which you found fault, what would you do?" - The Middlewesterner
  • "tractors porn" - The Middlewesterner
  • "does black or dark nail polish on a woman mean anything" - The Middlewesterner
  • "keeping warm in north dakota" - The Middlewesterner
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December 01, 2004

Comments

Dave

"Turns out God wasn't speaking to me at all; he was only clearing his throat."
Good thing you figured that out, though. Way too many of these evangelists I hear around the radio dial seem to have adopted that throat-clearing, spittle-flinging mode as their own.

Tom Montag

I hear you, Dave. And I've heard some of the throat-clearing spittle-flingers you speak of. Interesting that Sinclair Lewis was writing about them in the 1930s and we're still writing about them today. In fact, a lot of the things that Sinclair Lewis fretted over have come back to worry us again today. I suppose it shouldn't surprise us that people keep being people.

jim cleary

Note to Tom Montag

What a pleasant surprise to find you after all these years, Tom. I often reflect on the very special time we had when snowed in at your family farm near Dows back in the early spring of 1965. In fact, I have often thought of your whole family as pretty special - that idyllic Iowa farm family I imagine behind the Grant Wood painting, "American Gothic."

Memories of your then 15-year-old sister still tug at my heartstrings - the lovely lass who brought us my very first (and nearly last, it seems) breakfast in bed on that wintry Saturday morning. I imagine that in time she sorted through the many suitors and selected as her mate a handsome, enterprising young man with whom she has long since successfully raised several fine children to adulthood, they perhaps by now spread widely throughout the nation as successful rural families seem inclinded to do.

Memories of your wonderful and ever nurturing mother always elicit a twinge of guilt for my not having honored her request to "drop us a note now and then as you pass through life, just to let us know where you are and how you are doing." Please consider this that requested note, Tom, though I fear that 40 years time might make it too late. I have always believed that I would be seeing her again in eternity and that, forgiving me that negligence, she would once again be as welcoming and supportive as that wintry weekend at your farm.

I remember your father somewhat vaguely, rising early to tend to his farm animals on what must have by then been largely a grain farm, perhaps hurrying off to a town job, as well - in various ways providing well for his family with a commitment that only a midwestern farmer could so staunchly embrace.

And foremost, I remember you, Tom, as my prep school roommate who somehow day after day stoically tolerated my own insufferable optimism, aided immeasurably in that burden no doubt by the school's prohibition on talking in the dorm.

Well, to cut to the chase on my end, life has been challenging but good - - vietnam, college, lasting marriage to another fine farmer's daughter like your sister, children themselves now all married, challenging but rewarding work, and many fine treks West to hike in the alpine or hunt on the sage steppe, and sometimes just to wander the prairie relishing the landscape and sleeping under the stars to better hear the coyote's song. We'll be greatly relieved in just a few short months when our son, Patrick, returns from his year with the Army NG in Iraq, about the time our oldest daughter, Rachel, gives birth to our first grandchild.

I look forward to reading more of your writings, Tom, and the adventure of discovering where life has led you. This will be my first contact with any of you fine classmates from so long ago. It was a very special group of young men who gathered to study at the seminary. My life has been greatly enriched as a result of that unique shared experience with all of you. I think your mother trusted that it would be, and would be proud to know that it has been so.

Good to have found you, Tom. Thanks for being there.

Warm regards to all you family.
Jim Cleary

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