"Last Saturday afternoon,"
Ivan said, "Lyle Morgan and David Grey got to comparing bad backs. Morgan had one that sounded chronic. Grey had one that sounded like it was brought on by snow-shoveling. But after this bad back conversation and the resulting sympathy it brought from their listening audience, it was revealed that following their coffee break, they were going sledding. My medical training is sketchy at best, but even in my medical ignorance I am convinced that sledding wasn't the relief you sought when suffering from a hurting sacroiliac. But you can't tell young people anything."
"Ain't it the truth," Ivan said. "Someone asked Dick Weltmer when his heifers were supposed to start calving. Dick said they are supposzed to start calving during the next storm."
"I don't know if Joe Lambert's kids and grandkids know this or not, but one time when Joe was a student in the Thornburg grade school, he got the bright idea that he would hide out and not return to the classroom following recess one day. So he hid in a culvert near school. School teacher Brown didn't beg, plead, or promise any kind of punishment. Professor Brown just gathered up a bunch of Russian thistles, piled them at the end of the culvert, and set them on fire. The thistles started blowing smoke in one end of the culvert, and Joe came blowing smoke out the other end of the culvert."
"Edith Drake," Ivan said, "described me to my grandson as a pain in the butt. I can't hardly believe she would say that, can you?"
"What a revolting development this is," Ivan said. "Last Thursday night, Me N Momma was following Jack and Arlene Benn down the hall at Smith Center High School. You know how Jack moseys. I couldn't believe it. They were actually pulling away from us. Of course we weren't going full throttle but, even at that, having Jack Benn pulling away from you is degrading to the Nth degree."
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